...

Fuck it.

I'm done with this for now. I need a day or two to back off. It's obvious I'm doing something very wrong. Or I'm unlucky. Or it's a combination of both. I think it's more of the former, and the fact that I am probably throwing away money is pissing me off even more. I can't play in this state.

I am going to take a step back, look at some hands, figure out what the fuck I'm doing wrong. Maybe I should play with someone watching who knows what they're doing. Maybe I need to buy HEM before I do this. Whatever it is, I'm pissed and I need to do something about this to make myself less pissed.