Tuesday, July 27, 2010

aaaaaaaand that's it

I made the decision to cash out last Friday, once I hit goldstar. Yesterday I made my final grind to Goldstar VIP, which would grant me access to this and next month's 250k freerolls. And with it came my worst session yet. Thanks to a slight break where I managed to win 3 all-ins against some loose players in a span of 10 minutes, I managed to salvage the day without as big of a loss as I expected.

As it stands, I'm sure that I am misplaying horrible at 24 tables, but I do not have the time nor the finances to support this. I withdraw from Stars today at a loss of 100 from the 450 I deposited. My last games on Stars will be 2 Turbo Takedowns and 2 250k VIP freerolls. If I win any cash in those, sweet. It's free money I can play with. If not, oh well. For what it's worth I feel I learned a lot through my experiences these past 2 months when I seriously began my grind, and I feel my tournament play has SIGNIFICANTLY improved due to my cash experiences. That being said, I still failed to achieve most of my goals and I'm disappointed.

On the other hand, I think quitting was necessary. It was starting to affect my physical and menthal health, with no financial safety net currently supporting my poker experience. Hopefully, should I ever resume this again, I will be better off, and that will help alleviate most of the poker stress.

I'll continue to update with assorted trading card game updates (such as magic and the wow tcg, I love ramp spells in Magic right now!), but for the most part I will be done with poker. I'll be sure to update this weekend on my VIP tournament results though. :)

Friday, July 23, 2010


321 USD in account. Stopping after dropping 40 in an hour, another session of Kings versus Aces (I think pocket kings has quickly become my least favorite hand in the world).

I can't take this today, so I'm stopping. 4 Buy-ins in an hour. Fuck. This. Game. 

Monday, July 19, 2010


Grinding to Goldstar VIP. 690 VPP left. 24-tabling 10nl. Today was soul crushing which seems to be the usual fare. Started off well, hit 30 up at my high point, never managed to do better.

Got sucked out an absurd number of times today, three times I faced down the classic kings versus aces dilemma. Lots of 3-bets everywhere, one I called out of tilt (I'm not perfect obv). Then I dropped 20, losing with top pair against a maniac because a third caller hit a straight. Then another maniac was shoving pre-flop, got one caller, and I called with AK suited. He had KJ suited, I hit top pair, the other dude had shit, and he catches a goddamn jack, taking away the remaining profits I had for the day.

I seriously wonder why I am trying to play this game.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I've been flaky on my play. I ended up taking a long (ie. more than 2 day) break from poker. My account ended up hitting 251 not because of 10nl play, but because I tilted early on having my aces cracked by 8s going all-in pre-flop, and blowing 66 bucks at 50NL. Not a wise move. At all.

Lately I've been saying To Hell with 10NL, as those limits truly do make me miserable, and playing 25NL. I need to get back to the lower limits though, not because I can't afford it, but because of Micromania. I'd normally earn more VPP playing nl25 even at 6-tables, but not this month.

I made my final deposit of 150, bringing my bankroll to 401. It's not good, but I didn't want to commit double that. As it stands, if I clear my entire bonus, plus any cash rewards I'd earn from FPP, and my bankroll is not more than what it started at plus all deposit bonuses, cash rewards, and stellar rewards bonuses, I will cash out. I may return at a later point, or just play with my cash reward or my FPP, but I do not intend to stick around if I feel I can't be profitable right now. I'd rather find things that are less stressful to do, or play in real life (where the players are vastly worse I feel).

Friday, July 9, 2010


Had a bit of a falling out (er down) last night, to 308. I'm taking the day off. Maybe a break will set me straight, as I'm sure that I am not playing optimally.

On the bright side, I definitely lost some respect with my LAG play from the regs. Maybe they'll be more apt to call me down when I have the nuts now. :)

(back to TAG Mike - I know you're frustrated about how bad you've been running, but one playstyle is profitable at this level and one style isn't. Take a guess at which one isn't. IE: Stop tilting, stop playing bad because you're running bad, and get back on the ball. 10nl is fun and all but you know that you'd prefer 1-tabling some shotgun/mouth if you have to play .05/.1 nl for more than a few months. Get on the ball!)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

it's a see-saw

Played a little last night and finished up at 333 with a deposit bonus extra $10. Today, I played see-saw with my bankroll in 5 dollar intervals, but ultimately finished down at 321. This is what happens when you're 2 for 8 on the sets that you hit I guess.

So yeah. The bad first week is bleeding into week 2. Sweet. Just what I needed.

I'm pretty mellow about today. I felt that i minimized all but $2 of my losses to the best of my abilities (made two dumb cheap extraction calls when they obviously hit - one hand where I managed a set of kings with K J I checked like a donk and should have bet. On the river a jack came, giving the possibility of A Q beating me with a straight. I bet, he raised a dollar, I reluctantly called and shipped the extra buck his way). Nothing I could have otherwise done. When the sets you hit are flopped alongside 3 suited cards, and when you call a steal-bet from loose players on the flop only to have the fourth suit appear, you know it's going to be a bad day.

I should be at around 1300+ VPP at this time, which means I am not set to hit platinum star this month if I keep up this rate of play. That's fine, I guess. I'd rather not destroy myself trying to get .5 FPP more per VPP earned. ;/

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Can't really handle another soul-crushing miserable day. I'm just going to stop less than 1.5 hours in, at 1100 VPP for the week. My bankroll is at 311, again nothing went right, lost to coolers had my aces crushed by 3s etc I'm not going to delve into all of the details.

I really fucking hate NL10 and the levels below it. Anyone who grinds them over a 1k profit is a fucking champ, because I don't see how they haven't killed themselves doing so.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

short of goals - short of temper

I ended up staying away from poker mostly tonight. As I sit here, enjoying a Stone Old Guardian (an excellent poker deterrent - as it kicks in, I've closed all of my tables), I can't help but think that, despite some of the bad beats I've gone through, I'm also learning what this poker life is going to be like if I am going to commit to it. Therefore, I've set aside from goals for myself that don't apply to July.

-I will deposit another $300 into this account to achieve the full $600 bonus.
-I will earn and purchase the platinum star cash reward bonus.
-If by the time I unlock the cash reward bonus that I purchase, if my account only has in it the amount I've deposited, plus my deposit bonus, stellar rewards, and cash reward, I will withdraw all of my money and call it quits.

I'll have to play a metric ton of hands to reach this point. I feel that, if I can't do it in that time online, I do not have a knack for online play and will move on to either a) real life play where the players at $100 buy-ins are actually worse than NL10 or b) get a *gasp* real job.

Needless to say, I'll be grilling myself to improve online through this month and next month, as I don't really want those options to be it. Online poker has already shown to me that it can be soul-crushing, but with a little luck, a lot of discipline, and some intelligent play and progression, I feel I can do well. I will be seeking help from a few friends who do this for a living in a week, in order to improve my play, but between that and some basic reading, I want to primarily do this on my own. If I can't at least turn a small profit from play, then I don't feel I have the chops to do it if I'm taught. I'm not going to be denial over my poker play; I don't want to be one of those ridiculous "pro" players that troll the poker forums but actually just never progress. If I can't learn, improve, and adapt, then I shouldn't make it in online poker.

This month is going to be quite the learning experience, that's for sure. :)

Oh, and I messed around at NL25 a little bit while a friend was over. I really, really want to play this level in August. It's so much more interesting than NL10. I also feel I have a better knack for it, and have a better read on the players at the level.

VPP: 1054
BANKROLL: $341 (down 30 in poker profits for the day, unlocked 10 in deposit bonus)

back to normal (crap)

4.5 hours in so far today. Unsure if I'll be playing more. I ran pretty bad in my second session in the afternoon, as I am again unable to have any luck against the fish. Lost around $31 total today so far, including one to a cooler when we both blind-limped (I hit a flush, he hit a fullhouse with J 3), and two more big pots to high VPIP players who hie 2 or 3 outers on the river.

As I'm telling myself, if I wasn't losing so often to these short outers, I'd probably be well over $500 by now. It's just a bad period. If I stick it out, and not let it get me (too) down, I can see some real progress this month.

That being said, it has had a morale effect on me. I'm not sure if I want to play anymore today, but I may consider it later. I would like to turn my attention to other projects tomorrow, however, so I may end up short of teh 1400 VPP I'd need to stay on track to the 200 a day average. I'm sitting at 1057 so far, and while I'm encouraged to get to 1200 before Thursday, I don't know if I have it in me right now to get to 1400+.

Monday, July 5, 2010

about time

Considering that I started the day 15 minutes in and $15 down, I was happy to see that both of my sessions (one 3.5 hours, the other close to 2) finished up positive.

And not a moment too soon either. I wasn't sure how well I was going to handle another shitty day. :P

I'm pretty far behind my daily requirements already. I'll have to really grind out tomorrow and Wednesday just to finish at my 200 a day average for VPPs by Thursday if I want to be up to speed for the first week. It looks like I won't have gold status until later next week unless I really put my nose to the grinder.

Unsure if I'll be doing that. I'd like to get platinum this month, but I'll be playing it by ear and we'll see if I want to actually go for it. While the weekend was overall relaxing and helped get my mind out of poker for a little (back-to-back BBQs. I should be so sick right now), it's time to get back to work!

Bankroll: $363
VPPs: 857

Saturday, July 3, 2010


Poker stress is starting to really kick in. Since the start of July play, I've been running particularly horribly. I think in the past 24 hours I've lost to 4 really god-awful runner runners, including J 5 suited last night (losing 4 dollars to a 50+% VPIP player due to him catching J and 5 on the turn and river), and then an all-in call with pocket kings on a blank flop to Q 9, who caught both of his cards on the turn and river.

Also lost to a couple of coolers, including three instances of having the not as good full/house set, and a case of having a set, but with it making the opponent's 6 7 offsuit gut-shot straight.

In other words, it's been an awful and awkward couple of days, and has really discouraged me. My bankroll has taken quite a hit, and I only hope that when I return to the tables that this shitstorm passes over me. Last night I was able to keep myself calm enough by saying 'I went from 175 to 350 in a week. I can do this if I just stick thorugh the terrible parts'. Today, that no longer comforts me, and I just want to have a god-damn winning session again. Maybe tomrorow that will happen. :/

VPP: 597

Friday, July 2, 2010


My first two hours were fine. They were going average; I was $5 up for each hour, and was at $360.

Then hour 3 kicked in and shit hit the fan in a big way.

I laid down pocket aces twice during this hour, and had I not done so I would have lost even more. Another pocket aces which called an all-in bet for $10 pre-flop was cracked by the dude's KQ, where he hit a set of kings. Another all-in bet with a set on the flop was cracked by a flush, A K top pair was cracked on the river by another player for $4 of my stack. EVERYTHING went wrong. Everything.

I am sitting at $329, and I'm pretty fucking furious. What was a winning session quickly turned into shit-creek. Right now I feel like I'm riding a damn see-saw; my bankroll keeps going up and down in small ways. And this past hour has put that nagging thought into the back of my head; why the hell am I subjecting myself to this?

EDIT: At this point I think I am going to take my bad beats into exercising or breathing techniques rather than this blog. It's really tempting to get everything off of my chest when I come here but it doesn't make for very interesting reads.

Nobody likes a bad beat story after all. I wouldn't want to hear them and I sure as hell shouldn't be subjecting friends to it either. 

positive reinforcement

I made 2 large calls I was fairly unhappy with today, and about 2-3 questionable ones, causing me to lose an unnecessary 6-9 dollars overall I felt.

Thankfully my run of luck reversed and I managed some cards against the fish before they logged off for the night. After they were done, I managed some classic Brunson poker and did some semi-bluffing and blind-stealing against the remaining regs and nits.

Overall, an awkward day. I basically made little to no progress until I unlocked another $10 out of my deposit bonus. I am strongly considering re-depositing a final 300 to take advantage of the bonus I have left, as I'll be through with this current $200 bonus in about a week. The new $300 bonus would keep me occupied for about 2-3 weeks, and then I could withdraw my money again (or just piggyback to another level, although I am definitely staying at 10NL for at least July; the VPP gain is insane right now).

Looking forward to what tomorrow brings. As long as I don't deviate from bot-play against the majority of the players, I should keep going up or remain close to even. That's the biggest challenge, but one I can manage as long as I have a little positive reinforcement from the cards.


Hands played: About 5000
Bankroll: $361
VPP earned this month: 297

Thursday, July 1, 2010

*vomits on July*

Hi July.

Fuck you too.

Not an impressive start to this month. I am only around 180-200 VPP into this month, a good 100 short of what I'm hoping to achieve each day in order to obtain my goal of Platinum star VIP.

The cards have continued running horribly for me today. A number of times where players with high VPIPs happened to have coolers. I don't think I can honestly fault my stacked calls today; when there are only so many hands that beat your set, and you know they aren't on a flush draw, you just have to get your money in there and hope they don't have big slick. Unfortunately, a 40% VPIP player happened to have that when I was first stacked today. Aces were fairly ungenerous today, and I went through a portion of time where 50 hands were folded before I found something I could call a raise with (I folded it post-flop to three over-cards. Nice nines).

Stealing was minimum today. Lots of raising, lots of loose bets and calls. These are great players to win money from, but when your card quality is low, you aren't exactly going to be stealing any money from them. There's no point in bluffing these players, and it seems the micros have become infested with these loose dudes due to Micromania. It's a good sign for the month, but frustrating for my first day.

I also do not excuse myself in any way for some of my losses today. Generally, I get more aggressive against the regs or tighter VPIP players, and lower my range of what I call with against the looser players when I start getting sucked out/runner runner'd/etc. It's a bad habit. One I'll need to work on. I'm sure with some practice I'll be able to keep my resolve and play accordingly.

Also, it would be really nice to have an average day. Not a good day, like Tuesday night. Just an average day would suffice. These losing sessions aren't exactly morale friendly.